So now what? I have some goals I’d like to achieve by my birthday.

1. Lose 10 – 15 pounds. Fifteen may be a stretch and hard to maintain, but 10 is doable. I’m within the recommended limits for my height, but I’m not comfortable there. That last 10 – 15 pounds would be perfect. I just need to keep myself motivated.

2. I want to wear a bikini for my 40th bday. To be honest, I have no idea why this is really one of my goals, but it is. I’ve been busting my butt in the gym for months. I’ve been following the New Rules of Lifting for Women. I’m about to wrap up Stage 1. I’m proud of the improvements I’ve made. Being able to wear a bikini really represents the hard work I’ve been doing. It also will represent that gain in confidence that had been lacking in awhile.

There’s probably more that are on my list, but those are the two I could think of right now, as tired as I am. I’ll just keep plugging along ’til I get there.

Speaking of chaos, this past week has been super crazy.  My Father-in-Law was moved to hospice this week  (His pancreatic cancer is super aggressive and there’s nothing more the doctors can do — and he’s too weak for chemo).  We had 2 ER visits and pediatrician visits for my son (all for the same GI thing that may still require an additional procedure).  I had a crazy day trip to Chicago yesterday (like 20 hour day type of crazy).  It’s good to be home and back to our regular semi-normal world of chaos.  To be honest, I probably wouldn’t know what to do with calm, but every now and then I wonder.  Today, I even had a chance to try another recipe in the July/August Clean Eating Magazine.

I could probably start some inward analysis of weather I cook when I get stressed because of emotional eating, but let’s leave it at I chose to make a healthy, clean meal for my family rather than mix up a a batch of brownie batter or cookie dough.

Today’s recipe was Sweet & Sour Chicken on page 63 of the July/August 2010 issue.

Ingredients:
1/3 cup low-sodium soy sauce
2 Tbsp raw honey
2 cloves garlic, minced
1tsp fresh ginger, grated
1/4 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
1 1/4 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, chopped into 1-inch pieces
1 medium red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch chunks
1 medium green bell pepper cut into 1-inch chunks
1 small yellow onion, chopped
1/2 fresh pineapple, cut into 1-inch cubes
12 sprigs fresh cilantro, chopped
1 1/2 cups cooked brown rice, optional

Instructions:
1.  In a small bowl, whisk together soy sauce, honey, garlic, ginger and pepper flakes.  Place chicken in a large shallow dish.  Pour soy sauce mixture over chicken, tossing gently.  Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes or up to 8 hours.
2.  Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat.  Add chicken and marinade and saute for 5 minutes or until chicken is cooked through.  Add bell peppers and onion and cook for 5 minutes or until vegetables are slightly tender.  Add pineapple and cook for 2 more minutes.  Sprinkle with cilantro and serve immediately over rice for a complete meal, if desired.

Nutrients per serving: (1 1/4 cups chicken mixture, without rice)
Calories:  161; Total Fat 1.5g, Sat. Fat 0.25g, Monounsaturated Fat 0.25g, Polyunsaturated Fat 0.5g; Carbs: 17g, Fiber: 2g, Sugars 13g; Protein 21g; Sodium 404 mg; Cholesterol:  48mg

I only made one substitution to this recipe and that was using a white onion instead of a yellow.  Well, I did use the thin chicken breasts (if that even counts as a substitution) — only reason for those was that’s what I happened to have in the house.  I didn’t even use canned pineapple — I cut one up!

I used Uncle Ben’s instant brown rice.  I don’t usually use instant rice, but read in one of the Clean Eating articles that because it was parboiled it was ok.  I tried it mainly for the convenience factor!

I really liked this recipe.  I often end up not loving recipes with chicken in them because it dries out.  This one didn’t at all.  My 8 year old didn’t want to eat it at first (because of the peppers).  I finally convinced him to  try a bite of the pineapple and chicken — he decided he liked it after all.

The best comment of the night came from my hubby.  Without even waiting for me to ask him what he thought of it, he told me I should definitely make this one again.  Another successful (and yummy!) recipe from this issue!

My 7 year old son was diagnosed (finally) with BiPolar Disorder last year.   There’s a lot of people who question the diagnosis at such an early age, but mutliple doctors have all weighed in.  When we got the diagnosis, it was almost like a relief, but as time goes by it really hasn’t changed anything.  He is also ADHD, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder all in the primary axis.

For a bit of context, there’s always been something a bit off since we first fostered him at age 2.  We continued to push Social Services to help figure out what it was, but that on-going battle has continued since after he was legally adopted (at almost 4) and even now.  At first, we thought some of his quirks would put him somewhere on the Autistic spectrum like his adopted brother.  Things seemed to finally click when we got DS#1′s diagnosis and found him the right treatments.  Things haven’t been so easy for DS#2.

For DS#2, we even had to go through testing for Fetal Alcohol Syndrome for him.  What really sucks there is strong suspicions about birth mom’s use, we can’t get a diagnosis because we were told he has to meet at least 3 of the 4 criteria.   Dysmorphic features — check…they checked that.  Birth mom wasn’t going to admit she used so that wasn’t an option.  Unlike most FAS kids, he’s extremely high functioning congitively.  There are no words to describe how thankful I am for that, but again he continued down the path of not fitting a specific diagnosis.

He’d already been diagnosed as ADHD.  We’d tried every (and I mean EVERY) ADHD medicine.  Fast forward and behavior is becoming increasingly more violent.  Long story short, he ended up in a psychiatric hospital.  There are no words to explain how horrible it is to take anyone there, let alone your 6-year old.  As far as these types of hospitals go, the place he was at is considered top-notch and people come from other states for this hospital.    However, none that prepares you for some of the questions you are asked.  It doesn’t prepare you that there can be nothing with laces or strings in shoes or belts so they can’t hurt themselves.  No plastic bags for the same reason.  They eat off those styrofoam takeout boxes with plastic forks for the same reason.  Don’t get me wrong, I get why, but if you’re not prepared for it, you can’t help but cry.

Anyway, he spent 3 months in said facility either in inpatient or outpatient care.  To put that in perspective, for his first 9 weeks of school, he was there 9 days.  While he was there, we finally got the BP diagnosis.  It had been a long time in coming. (trust me, there’s lots that I skipped over, but let’s leave it at we’ve had our share of explosive outbursts.)  While getting the diagnosis has helped in some ways it hasn’t made much of a difference in others.

I’ll never forget one of our first interactions with his social worker there.  She said to me, “”you’ll have to accept him for who he is”.  There are no words to tell you how much that pissed me off.  My response was “Look, I accept him for who he is, but school isn’t going to let him throw chairs across the room, you’re not going to let him do it here, and I’m not at home.  We’ve got to find ways to help him cope.”  Let’s just say that within the week, she was apologizing and well aware of how consistent we were.  The staff came to learn how much we’d been trying to help him get the care he needs.

Either as part of his BP, or something else, he also has sleeping issues.  When he was smaller, we thought it was the typical nightmares.  Not even close.  The doctors are sure there are some night terrors in there.  He sleep walks, sleep yells, etc. It’s HORRIBLE.

As a result of the 2, my 7 year old take the following on a daily basis (current list, but trust me, we’ve tried more than you can imagine):  Concerta, Abilify, Depakote, Clonidine and Clonazepam.  As a parent, I can’t help but feel like crap that he’s on so many hardcore things.  However, when he’s not he hurts himself and others, so as a parent how can I not.  Today was another one of those really rough days.  He just seems to be really cycling the past few days.  We know that until he stops growing so quickly, it’s a constant battle.

I started thinking about “if I had my way, would things be different?”  How do you really answer that question.  Yes and no.  I’ve never known him without issues.  So if I say yes, am I saying I’d change who he is?  That’s not what I’m really saying.  Would I want things to be different for him (notice I’m not using the word normal here because that’s not what I’m saying either).  It’s heartbreaking to see the impacts all this has on my little boy.  He’s always the little boy that other kids don’t really want to play with because he’s so volatile.  He’s got huge gaps with his fine motor skills.

I’d by lying if I said it didn’t have an impact on our family.  Seriously, his co-pays for his medication, visits and then therapy are staggering.  We’re still fighting with the county where he was adopted, but I doubt they’ll contribute a penny, although he should have been considered special needs adoption.  Also, he’s considered uninsurable for an individual plan. at age 7. We were lucky he’s covered by my group plan when I switched jobs.  We’d be bankrupt if we didn’t have insurance.

With all of this there comes some anger.  Not directed at him, it’s not his fault he has this illness.  I want to be mad at someone, when I feel like I’ve done everything I can do.  Who do you blame at?  Birthmom?  She’s an easy target.  Healthcare system?  Like they give a crap about people as individuals.  In the end the anger doesn’t help.  We tried some of the local support groups, but couldn’t really relate.  I’m not one to sit and really want a pity party.  I’d love if those groups shared resources.  Use the frustration to help drive forward.  The best source of info we’ve found is the Child & Adolescent Bipolar Foundation.

Some days are a little rougher than others, but we’ll get through it.  One of the quotes that help me keep things in perspective when I’m frustrated:

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all” — Dale Carnegie

As I start to add more miles, I’ve started to experience more blisters and pain in my feet.  Nothing unbearable, but just a little annoying.  Anyway, I came across this article on the NY Times website today and thought I’d share.  I guess you have different issues if you run barefoot.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/10/05/the-roving-runner-goes-barefoot/?em

One of my blisters was huge and ran on the side and bottom of my toe.  Not bad enough where it needed to be drained, but it made me check out toe socks online.  Anyone ever tried them?

http://www.injinji.com/tetratsok/performance.htm

I hadn’t planned to run it, but decided to do it as a spur of the moment thing.  My goal was 42 min. I knew I could do that comfortably and I wasn’t sure how I would feel after yesterday’s run.  I ended up running it in 39:16.  Turns out I won 2nd place for women in my age group.  Personally, I find that hilarious, but it was still a nice feeling.

Here’s a photo of my race bib with my award:

From my first official 5K as a runner

It was fun.  Glad tomorrow’s a rest day.  I think I might hit a Yoga class.  :-)

Today I was out for a run on the Greenway.  It was miserable.  It was pouring — in that coming in sideways kind of way.  It was raining so hard, you couldn’t see.  In some ways, I was lucky that I was wearing glasses.  They were foggy, but it helped keep some of the water out of my eyes.  The hat definitely wasn’t going to cut it on its own.  There were numerous parts of the path that were flooded and there were scattered tree limbs where they had fallen.  I’d be lying if I hadn’t wished I’d stayed in bed and slept.  I did not have one dry spot on my body, I was truly soaked to the bone and,  like an idiot, forgot a change of dry clothes (and this isn’t just around the corner).  In so many way this morning run just sucked!

As much as it sucked, there were good parts to this soggy journey.  First, I find it funny that my pace improved.  This just seems so unlikely given the need to try and navigate areas of standing water.  However, that was merely a bonus at the end of my run.  The Greenway really is a pretty tree-lined path that runs along a creek.  There was a brief 15 min towards the end where the pouring had stopped and it was more of a light rain.  During this time, there were spots where you could see some tiny waterfalls from all of the run-off.   We also saw 3 deer just off the path.  It was peaceful and beautiful in its own way.  Neither of these would have been possible if it weren’t for the downpour.

There’s always a combination of good and bad.   Finding the good in my run was easy and really a welcome distraction.  For a year, Georgia has really needed the rain — hey, I’ve got lakefront property now!  Hopefully the people who have really been impacted by the flooding, will be able to be remedied as quickly as possible once it stops raining..

My morning started off with a long run with Team in Training.  I’m very pleased with out this run turned out.  4.2 miles in 58 min — less than a 14 min mile.  I know, I know…I’m still not super speedy.  What I’m most pleased with is the fact that I walked  maybe a total of 5 min of this run.  It definitely helps to run with other people  – it just seems to go faster and you’re less focused on distance.  This is definitely going to motivate me for next week’s training run.

After I got back from the training run, the hubby and kids wanted to venture downtown to DragonCon.  I really didn’t know what to expect here.  I knew what it was.  I’ve known a number of people who have gone.  I really wasn’t sure I wanted to take the kids down there.   I must admit, I was being very shallow when we got there.  I was having a hard time taking all these people dressed in their costumes seriously.  There was the whole vibe that it was Mardi Gras mixed with Halloween.  (Years ago, I did the Mardi Gras thing and I know I’m not taking the kids there!)  Anyway, there were definitely some odd people there.  Having said that, there were a number of people that let my kids have their picture with them while they were dressed up.  Everyone that posed with the kids, was so kind and gracious.  It showed another perspective of this event.  I’m grateful that everyone was so polite and friendly.  They almost seemed excited to have photos taken with the kids.  Who knows maybe in regular life, many of them are shy and reserved, but going to DragonCon let them live out some hero fantasy and step out of the routine.  Either way…my kids loved it.  We didn’t need tickets for the event…the kids just loved walking around the hotel lobbies.  They’re already asking if they can dress up next year!!

If we didn’t get enough crowds at DragonCon, everyone wanted to go to the Decatur Book Festival.  We didn’t know what to expect going to this, but we enjoyed it.  Lots of vendor booths.  We had some super yummy lemon aid.  We met some authors and had some books signed. (one of my favorites is going to be there tomorrow, so we’ll have to go back!)  If you love to read, this is a great event.  One thing I also loved was how many things we saw for giving back — to the local community, to the national community and even international community.  Reading is such an important skill that is always taken for granted.  I’m so happy that my kids love books and love to read — and that they love to read a variety of things.

After we finished everything today, I was grateful that we live in an area that allows us variety.  These two events are how we chose to interact with Atlanta today.  There was an ESPN event at Centennial Olympic Park celebrating the start of college football season  – seriously, it’s a religion here in the South!  There were other events at the High Museum of Art, the Bodies exhibition, tons of other things that haven’t even crossed our minds.  OK, so my feet hurt a little after all the running/walking all day, but I’m glad we were able to get out and enjoy it!

Managed to get in a 3 mi run today.  I felt good after, but I’m definitely tired.  I was supposed to run yesterday, but wasn’t feeling good at all.  My body can feel when I miss a day.  I probabl should have walked it, but thought that might not be the best idea at the time.  Anyway…back on track.  3 mi today, with 3 mi planned for tomorrow.  Time for some sleep — I want to try to transition back to morning runs.

First, Decemer 1, 2007, we lost my mother-in-law to Leukemia and I felt so helpless to do anything.  Everything happened so quickly and she had no real chance when she started treatment.  She was diagnosed in October and gone in December.  Anything I can do to help find a cure for blood cancer is worth it.  That was a horrible time for our family and I would gladly help others avoid it.

The second reason Team In Training is a great program for me is they focus on helping people complete that first endurance event.  Let’s be honest, I’m definitely not speedy.  I played soccer for years as a kid and have  had knee problems since I was 13.  I’m now a 38 year old mom.  I have no delusions that I’ll cross the finish line first.  My goal is simply to complete it.    Right now, I’m averaging about a 14 min mile.  I could go a little faster, but I’m comfortable where I am.  Because of my knee, I really need to use a run/walk technique.  I found that when I try to go to fast, I feel it.  I’m following the TNT training program that allows me to stay within my limits.

I’m also finding that I’m associating with people like me when I join with TNT team mates.  I want to be healthy.  I want to give back.  I want to associate with people who share similar values, but aren’t pretentious.  I’ve yet to see anyone feel like they have to get dressed up and put on make up to get in a training run. (Thank God!)  Now that may sound bad on my part, but to put it in perspective, there are so many people who get all decked out to go to my gym.  Come on now, you’re there to work out.  Be proud of that sweat!

So anyway…I’m continuing on my training runs.  Yesterday was a cross-training day.  Today was a rest day (woohoo!)  The plan has us running 3 mi again tomorrow.  A few weeks ago, I was afraid I couldn’t do that.  The more I train, the easier it gets.  I’m feeling stronger each day.

One of the coolest things is my mom (who is 62) is going to run this half-marathon with me.  This is definitely not her first race.  She’s run a number of marathons and half-marathons before.  She completed her first triathalon this year.  The funniest part about that is she couldn’t really swim.  She’s gone most of her life not knowing how to swim, but finally got serious about taking swimming lessons — just so she could compete in a triathalon.  Whatever it takes.  She’ll be there to motivate me the whole way.  Seriously, is my mom cool or what?

As I express myself, I hope people will chime in and share whatever comes to mind.